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Poor Little Rich Girl

Poor little rich girl, sitting all alone.
All upset by what she read on her phone.

Poor little rich girl, didn’t get what she wants.
Now she’s stuck with memories that haunt.

Poor little rich girl, pouting in the ‘lac.
That ‘no’ felt just like a stab in the back.

Poor little rich girl, doesn’t know her worth.
Doesn’t she know it’s not measured by her purse?

Poor little rich girl, she’s always wanting more.
Thinking she’s clever but she’s really a whore.

Poor little rich girl, so pretty in the face.
Too bad inside is filled with dark space.

Poor little rich girl, go cry some more. Cry some more, cry some more…
All this could happen still if you were poor.

Sunroof

It begins with the smallest of things. I look back and see the starry night. Although it is in my rearview mirror, it is still close – my vessel does not move. It merely stands still. There are things that will always be in the rearview mirror, just like there are things that will forever be passing me by. In a vessel that does not move, one does not look ahead – but rather all around, desperately seeking what is creating the vessel to be stuck. Willfully hoping for someone to pass by and lend a hand. Perhaps pull you out and move you forward. At times I like being still. I can put my seat back and turn up the music – get lost in sound and check out the show happening through the window of my sunroof. But there is no worse feeling than trying to turn, and still being stuck. Mud spraying and digging you deeper… And at times it is like the mud that is spraying is willful pain, you rev harder and harder digging yourself deeper and deeper – just so you can get dirty and actually feel something; whether it be constructive or not.

Where am I going now? Nowhere. I just sprayed mud all over the place and now am reclined in my chair, staring out the sunroof, visions of gray, a crease in the cheek, a weathered hand, flying square flies, marble, unbreakable connection, constant-slowly breaking heart with wishes for a sign, for hope, for anything. The world around the windows grow dark – and yet again I am alone.

Dear Comet

Thank you for gracing my sky with your presence when it was most needed. Your openness, understanding and care make you truly irreplaceable and I am happy that you will always be in my sky, whether that be near or far. I could never have asked for more…

Protected: My Secret

Untitled

When in the suns light, I am still with the star.

Who Copied Who?

I like Beyonce, but I don’t love her. One of the reasons I never really loved her is because I feel her style isn’t her own. She gotten mistaken for Jennifer Lopez before in building lobbies. Some videos it’s like she’s trying to be like Shakira. But this one is officially the worst. I don’t know what her creative directors or agent/manager was thinking?

In 2007 Ciara came out with “Like A Boy”. Here is the music video, it’s in black and white.

Then a year later in 2008 Beyonce’s “If I Were a Boy” video comes out, also in black and white.

On a side note, I love Ciara. I love her physical strength and find it so inspiring for workouts. This video is pretty sexy but it really encourages me to exercise…

And on that note, it’s late and I’m going to bed. Later y’all.

Official Girl Music Video

What draws me to certain music videos? One part is the music, the other part generally is styling mixed along with dance moves (usually one or the other). On my dinner break at work today I passed the time by watching a video on my iPhone that I love. Even though it’s from 2008 I still love so much of the style in the video. The video is by Cassie featuring Lil Wayne and is called ‘Official Girl’ (can’t embed but here’s the link if you’re curious: You Tube Link).

From Vivienne Westwood’s pink dress

To the Soul Jewelry’s C hoop earrings

To Givenchy’s fabulous gladiator boots (insert drool)

At the time I loved the Marc Jacobs glasses, I’d still love to have them but they aren’t on my lust list.

Dal Niente

I’m concerned for the picture that I paint, but I’ve held it in so long I had become so faint. I do not like to play games, but at times it feels like I am constantly in one. I need to just sit back and relax, and know that what I want is not the same as what I have. The sun and the star are technically the same thing, but oh-so different. How strange it is that the pull of the star is far stronger than the one of the sun. If my heart were a harp it would be the light of the star that plays the strings. Even when the sun shines and the star is in the night’s sky the harp still plays from the energy of the star. Like right now… My sky is empty; the clouds have rolled in… yet I am calm, even as the harp is at a crescendo – a long one that won’t stop until the star rises. This music is all so very new to me. I am captivated by its sound – I only wish I could express it, but parts of me think that I am the only one who can hear it… and this puts a fear in me. The music is so very important; I feel the sky may fall if it were to be shared…

The Cliff and the Abyss

At the ledge of the place that is all-too familiar I am knowingly where I stand. High up on the cliff I look down into the dark abyss and I know it is not a place I want to be, yet it is a place my soul feels has already traveled and currently lies. My mind is at the ledge where there is constant daylight, pondering whether to follow the soul. It is a pointless thought as I always choose to stay in the light, as I know the soul will always return from its travels through the darkness. So I sit on the ledge, with my feet dangling over – trying to patiently wait for the soul to return. With the thoughts running through my head it’d almost be worth having the entire being travel through the abyss… But with my entire being in the abyss I truly am afraid as I have been there before and it is not a fun place. Swirls of memories run through my mind, taking me to different times. Times where memories are all they merely remain – as what once was real feels fictitious and a lifetime away.

Two

I’m in a state of mind that is a mixture of wonder and numbness. I feel absolutely nothing at all, yet my senses are filled. Beautiful imagery and soothing sounds of Café del Mar have me in a state that I cannot describe. My being feels light though my heart is heavy. I have so much love I only wish I could give it all away. Yet here I sit alone, in a place where the only light is the setting sun behind grey clouds that cast long shadows in through the panes of glass. The light reflects off the long dark floorboards, creating a glow, which add to the wonder in my state of being. My lungs are filled with heavy breath at the thought of the love I wish to give.

Shadows in my mind of memories past cast fluid movements dancing to no music. When two are one it is a special gift, and I wish that the two that have past had not and rather when the two were one had it never stopped.