thoughts

Last night I learned how to line shelves and drawers with liner.  I also learnt that you can scrap paint off a window with a putty knife without it scratching the glass.  Which made me wonder how the previous home owners of our new place lived with white paint splatters on the windows?  The new place is going to be AMAZING and I love the little neighborhood it’s in.

That being said, it is not yet my place - but one day will be. We picked out all the colors and floors together, it’s going to look great. Laminate wood flooring, grey walls with black outlets and trim, guitars hung on the walls, green bedroom, light blue kids room, slate grey/blue main bathroom and burnt orange accent walls. Why do I feel like the ‘Tim the Toolman Tailor’ in comparison to Carrie Bradshaw describing an Oscar de la Renta dress?

I’ve said it before - but I’ll say it again. I’m going to try and write more on here.

I’ve been thinking about my site a lot lately and I’ve been thinking of ways to dedicate myself to it a bit more. So here’s what I have in store:

Starting November 17th I am officially doing my two-week program. I know I will be semi-cheating one of the days, as we will be celebrating Jett’s birthday. I’m taking a before and after picture and going to do a really detailed summary of everything at the end of the two weeks, including showing the picture!

I’m toying with the idea of every Sunday/Monday morning doing a “Week In the Life Of…” to go over briefly what went on doing my week.

I’m going to be doing a “Flashback Fridays” and writing about some random memory from the past. It could be about anything or anyone – so should be interesting.

“Random Facts Wednesdays” is going to be exactly as the title. Random facts. Whether it be personal random facts about me. Or things I feel the world should know.

Stay tuned for a more updated cynthia604.com and hope you enjoy the upcoming reads!

C

We are closer to our neighbors more than ever before in history,

Yet we do not know who lives next to us.

We can befriend people in far away countries, miles away,

But give two shits about the people around us and in our lives.

Technology can bring us together,

Yet it alienates us all the more.

What’s to come in 10-20 years time? What will our futures hold, and what of today is going to become something of the past?

Everything comes full circle sometime or another.

I don’t get how we can go from friends to not friends. I don’t get how you can’t see some things that I clearly can but still wouldn’t see them if I told you. Maybe you’re not ready to accept it. I feel like some truth has been left out. I want our friendship back. You haunt me everywhere and it’s really hard because I feel as though I’ve been cut out. I shouldn’t feel like I have to come up with excuses to talk to you.

This is so frustrating.

Are we even friends anymore or have you just rubbed me out completely? Just tell me.

Just putting this out there…

Parents who say they don’t have time to do certain things, or any couples for that matter, are full of it. You can always make time. Like if the kids are in the bath…

That’s all I have to say about that…

Go vodka Rockstars!

I’m waiting for Azra to come downstairs so I can take her to school.  So what do I do (thinking I had a quick five minutes)?  I check facebook.  I went and looked at Dave’s ex’s profile again.  I don’t know why I do, maybe curious as to what she is up to.  One of her status comments made me laugh because according to what I know of her from Dave she is absolutely right. 

I also saw she had uploaded some pics.  I took offense that the realtor who sold their house had invited HER to his sons birthday party and not Dave.  It’s because of Dave that he got a nice fat commission cheque but he goes and invites her instead?  I have a feeling it’s because he might not be totally comfortable with Dave’s tattoo’s or maybe his wife wanted Cathleen instead.   Either way, not really impressed. 

This is where the REALIZATION comes in.  Who cares?  Who cares what she is doing as long as she is being positive in front of the kids.  Who cares if some realtor doesn’t invite us to his kids birthday party instead of her?  As long as the kids are alright - who cares. Sounds like Azra is ready for school… 

It’s been awhile since my last post.  And there’s not other reason for it other than laziness.  Also maybe I can blame it on the fact that I’ve picked up the original form of blogging, which is journalling.  I’ve started two journals actually.  One is a secret project for my loved one that I plan to give him when the time is right.  The other is my personal journal.  I’m going to try and blog more often though.  I don’t event think people read my blog (but when I look at my online statics I am proven otherwise - so sorry about that!), but when Jay told me at Russ’ wedding this past weekend in Calgary that he enjoyed reading my blog, something about the honesty in it I think (?  it was not a dry wedding and although I was not drunk memory is a bit foggy) I realized I should blog more. SO…  I will.  Promise :) 

Clouds of thoughts fly through the skies of my mind. It is not raining, nor is there snow, but the sunny skies are seeing partial clouds and I find myself looking at these clouds wondering what they bring. I could look at them as a dark shadow looming over my sunlight, or are they simply just passing clouds reminding me of different days. Days not filled with sunshine…My skies have no mountains to trap their air, their clouds, or their smog. My skies rely on a breeze to make the weather pass. Sometimes the breeze is strong and the clouds are just a mere passing change in the sky, sometimes not even noticed as they pass at night while I sleep. But sometimes there is no breeze and the clouds linger, and I am awake and not in my sleep, seeing light clouds covering a somewhat starlit sky, oddly enough leaving enough space for the bright moon to shine.It isn’t the changing of the seasons just yet, I sometimes wonder if the changing of the seasons will ever come – when it does, how will I be? Will I be ready, or will I be drawn to the clouds and pulled away with the breeze like a balloon let go by a mindless child.

My camera was dead and I couldn’t find it and didn’t want to be dragging around my digital SLR with two kids 5 and under in tow.  SO - photo’s will have to wait until Dave posts his and I can steal copies from him. 

This weekend we packed up the truck, woke Zari and Jett up at 5am and hit the road to the beautiful Okanagan.  After stopping for a couple Rockstars, the kids being passed out, and three ipods to play “shuffle songs” mode with - we were ready to go.  The purpose of the trip initially was because Dave was playing in Kelowna with Default.  I had never been to one of their shows and honestly was pretty nervous.  I was scared if my feelings/thoughts or anything would change of Dave seeing girls throwing themselves at him or anything like that.  I was very happy that at the show I got to see my dear high school friend Jenn.  The show was amazing.  Dallas sounds just like how he does on their CD’s, which can be a bit rare in the music industry.  In my excitement I forgot to drink water along with my free beers so falling asleep was a bit of a blur, actually everything past walking up the hotel steps into the lobby was a blur. 

The next morning I got to work half a day (should mention the reason we left so early the day before was so that I could get a full days work in from the hotel while Dave took the kids to the lake and around Kelowna).  Dave woke up soon after and got ready to head over to Penticton to pick up the kids from their grandparents place (which is placed high up on a hill with the most killer view, with 10 acres of your own property you know no one will be able to block your view).  By 2pm after our last stop at the Woodfire Bakery for lunch we headed over to Vernon to spend the rest of the weekend with the Worth family and crew.   

Friday and Saturday were filled with a lot of fun.  The kids had other kids to play with so it was nice to have that little bit of a break.  Saturday we all went to the waterslides, that was a TON of fun.  Then on Sunday we packed up and headed to Penticton to go on a ride down the channel.  I was piggy-backing Zari and clumsily tripped on my own foot and planted right down onto my knees.  It wasn’t so bad when the wounds were fresh, and the cool channel water felt good on my skinned knees, but man, this morning I can’t even bend them in fear of cracking open the scabs, it hurts.  Especially as I am half sitting up in my bed right now typing this with my cat right beside me and his tail resting on one of my scabby knees… 

After a beautiful car ride home through the Hope-Princeton, with a couple more Rockstars, and more complaints of, “How much longer!” than the ride up we made it home to Mission and wouldn’t you know it as we’re nearing the house I say, “How about we turn around and go on the trip again.”  And Dave says, “Ya Zari, should I turn around and go back?”  Zari answers, “Ya!  Let’s go back to Vernon!” and Jett pipes up, “I want to got back to Vernon!”.  It wasn’t long however after they climbed into bed that their little eyes closed and began dreaming dreams. The weekend was beautiful.  Can’t wait for more to come. 

Even as I type the title, “A New Beginning” I realize that there is no real new beginning as I know I am and still am going to be the same.  It’s funny how as soon as I rejoined the world of facebook I’ve written less and less on my blog.  I’m going to start writing more.  Now I can write and say almost whatever I want to, no fear. 

This weekend Dave and I are taking the kids on a little adventure.  Thursday morning bright and early (5am with a man who doesn’t drink coffee) we are heading for Kelowna so that I can still start work - even though a little late - at 9am.  Dave’s tour manager, Russ, got us an early check-in so that will be nice.  Default plays at Flashbacks Thursday night.  It’s going to be the first time I’ve ever seen Dave play (I’ve seen him play with his other band, The David Anthony Project, but never with his first band, Default).  I’m excited and nervous and curious to how it’s going to be.  Dave is one of the few people on this planet that I trust 300%, unfortunately it’s not so easy to trust females, especially fans.  I hope that this show doesn’t turn me into some type of scary freak who has mild heart attacks every time her man goes on tour.  Especially with them now being picked up by The Orchard and the new album which is going to mean more touring… All I can do is see what happens, and then I can blog about it!

I miss my friend Matt.  I miss him very much.  I’m not sure anyone will ever be able to see/understand the friendship I treasure with him…  Just thought I’d throw that out there.